Mondays are for Stockpiling.
24 October, 2011 § Leave a comment
Instead, I look at you remorselessly,
the way I hope that someday I am seen,
the way each one deserves to be imagined,
and wonder at your astonishing beauty.
— rafael campo
I think I have over 200+ phone photos stockpiled from August, September and now most of October — tiny snippets of memories from one of the most rich, tumultuous, draining, life-giving and unceasingly on-the-go seasons I’ve been immersed in for awhile:
Travel by plane, train and car between Oregon, Pennsylvania, New York, Virginia, Illinois and Texas,
long visits with kindred spirits and wordless walks during a weekend-long solitude retreat,
outdoor farmers markets and downtown transit stations,
communal recipes on a tight budget and surprise finds of recycled doorknobs, glass bottles and broken door frames with which to decorate a living space,
familiar faces and new housemates,
multiple orientation sessions and times of training (as a staff leader as well as a team member),
borrowed Chucks and beloved picnic blankets,
jazz concerts and Mediterranean splurges of pita, spicy hummus and tabouleh,
a new home (complete with crooked floorboards, claw foot bathtub and kitchen tile) and late evening porch sitting in my inner-city neighborhood,
the hope of an infant fist and the despair of my neighbor’s black eye,
cracked sidewalks and R&B from the radio next door,
not one but two no-longer-brand-new jobs and early morning bus commutes,
overdue library fees and the smell of soy candles burning on my roadside-rescued bookshelf…
Yeah. I’ve been too busy inhaling life through my soul to stop, sit at a keyboard and set aside a descriptive word or two.
Strangely enough, especially for one who enjoys documenting, preserving and celebrating the world around me as much as I do, the past 3 months have delivered a strange sort of release — a liberation to simply live and take a break from telling.
On the other hand — not to completely undermine that last epiphany — let me also state here that I’m equally glad to turn from late summer into late fall with more and more frequent forays into familiar spaces of contemplation, description and enjoyment. The current rhythm of life was slow in the making but all the more treasured for it. Sometimes I need to remember that I can pause before tacking phrases such as
leader, housemate, folk junkie, mistrustful, community liaison,
perfectionist, daughter, financially strapped, ex-dread head, best friend,
intern, collector of quotes, neighbor, lover of color,
woman, declutterer, sister, hiker, relationally wealthy, joyful,
frequent Metro user, unfashionable, inner-city dweller, girlfriend, learner,
fund-raiser, grateful, photographer, coffee addict, bibliophile,
dreamer, non-profit staff member (twice over) and even Christ-follower on to my identity…
and simply step into the expansive stillness of I am.